


Irresponsible in Both Thought and Deed

by doctornemesis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Affection, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Crying, Emotional Manipulation, Emotions, Forced Affection, Hand Jobs, Light Bondage, M/M, Psychological Torture, Rope Bondage, Sex, Sexual Content, Tears, kylo is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5998404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctornemesis/pseuds/doctornemesis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Pain, Ren, is an aphrodisiac to one such as yourself. It is not an effective means of discipline, and I have indulged your lust for it for far too long,” he said, approaching Kylo until their knees touched. “I know how to break you now, and I intend to.”</p><p>---</p><p>Pain isn't working. No, in order for Hux to break Kylo, he'll have to show him just the opposite: Affection.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irresponsible in Both Thought and Deed

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still rather intrigued with this pairing, and while I love them for the sinful smut and angst they offer I thought I'd try a little something different...loving smut and angst, apparently.

Kylo sat upon a lone metal chair, the cold of which seeped through his skin and injected itself straight into his bones. The taste of blood tinged lovingly against his tongue, his bottom lip split straight down the middle, but that was the merciful part of Hux showing through–giving him a brief taste of what Kylo so desperately craved before ripping it all away. How long had he been here? Sealed off in some storage facility where little to no traffic passed by, arms bound behind his back too numb to ache any further. Time was useless and immeasurable, and another tool used to disorient him.

 

Hux was in disarray.

 

Kylo tended to bring forth chaos in everything he touched, and Hux was no exception, try as the other man might. This time; however, he had crossed a line he hadn't meant to, and was in the midst of a newly devised punishment. This was not pleasurable, the isolation. Hux's retribution normally came down hot and swift, the pain of which often left Kylo thrumming with bliss for _days_. Kylo did not bode well alone.

 

Alone, he was left with his thoughts.

 

The anger began to trickle forth through the despair. The intense, searing rage gave to him an unparalleled strength, but it was a double-edged sword. The rage that gave him sovereignty also served to consume him whole; burning him from the inside out. Kylo was unstable and combustible, and the day he erupted he would take everyone and everything in his wake, but that day was continuously postponed for Hux often kept him in check, how aware he was of this fact, Kylo did not know. His teeth began to chatter.

 

The straight line of his back began to curve as he slouched forward, his hair creating a curtain before his eyes. A growl began to emerge from his throat, rumbling through his chest like an animal when Hux came into focus, footsteps light and consistent despite the steel-toed boots he wore. Kylo peered up at him, bleary eyed and choking on unchecked emotion. Hux appeared unaffected by Kylo's state. No emotion to be read in the steel of his eyes and the straight line of his nose.

 

“I've come to a decision on how I think you should be punished,” he said, walking around Kylo's slumped frame.

 

Kylo took a deep draw of breath. Finally. “And what, General, have you deemed appropriate...for such failings?” he inquired, settled when Hux finally came to a stop before him.

 

Hux ignored him in favor of removing his gloves, an act Kylo had never witnessed before. When he finished, Hux set them aside on a steel storage bin, looking down upon Kylo with as much scorn as could be mustered. He removed his grand coat, folding it in a way that must have been instilled in youth, the action unconscious and effortless. Unbuttoning each cuff, he rolled his sleeves up to his forearms, deft fingers undoing the top button that sat in the middle of his throat. Kylo found himself enraptured by the sight of Hux's hands, the color of spilled milk, freckled like the galaxies that spanned before them in either direction.

 

“ _Pain_ , Ren, is an aphrodisiac to one such as yourself. It is not an effective means of discipline, and I have indulged your _lust_ for it for far too long,” he said, approaching Kylo until their knees touched. “I know how to break you now, and I intend to.”

 

Kylo realized then that a spark of fear had ignited in his stomach. “How do you propose to do that, _General_?” he all but spat.

 

Hux leaned down, tilting Kylo's face upward, studying him in the all too pale of the lighting. “ _Tenderness_ ,” he muttered just before pressing his lips across Kylo's in the faintest of kisses. A ghost wandering across his flesh in the dead of night. “ _Affection_.”

 

Kylo's mind reeled at the simple words spoken. The implication, the _audacity_ of the man before him was almost too much to comprehend. The brush of Hux's fingers along his high, sparsely freckled cheekbone caused him to gasp, touch starved with no barriers to separate them, Kylo seeled his eyes shut, heart pounding within the confines of his chest. Hux breathed against his mouth, and Kylo had no other choice but to breathe him in. When Hux trailed his fingers through his hair, Kylo let out a low, painful sounding groan.

 

No one had stroked his hair like that since he was a boy...since the day he had laid his head upon his mother's lap for the last time as he cried anguished tears, her soothing voice echoing around in his otherwise hallow heart. Hux knew the affect he had, trailing a soft thumb over Kylo's bottom lip, mindful of the wound he would have otherwise exploited. Kylo struggled against the gentle displays, leaning as far away from Hux's hands as he could manage, but the man was inescapable.

 

“ _Please_ ,” he begged. “Don't. Don't do this. I'll never do what I did again.”

 

“Lies,” Hux said, matter of fact.

 

“You can cut my tongue out from my mouth,” he pleaded. “Just not this.”

 

“Shh, Ren, no need to speak like this. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you,” he said, and this time his voice took on a tone Kylo had never heard before. It was soft...soothing, almost. It set Kylo's skin ablaze in the worst way possible.

 

Kylo closed his eyes, lips trembling as Hux held his face in one hand while the other caressed the side of his neck. Gentle. _Loving_. Hux stole his breath away as he kissed him, full of passion instead of possession. A low moan tore from his throat as Hux tasted him, exploring the ventures of his mouth with no sense of urgency or bitterness.

 

“Don't...”

 

“I care about you, _Ben_. I want to make you feel good. Loved,” he said, words cooing against the side of his mouth. “I want to make you feel good. Taken care of.”

 

Kylo couldn't breathe, refused to as he held his breath. The trembling grew worse, his body nearly convulsing as he fought to block Hux's words out, but they were as cruel as starving wolves, and chased him down with relentless vigor, tearing into every part of him at once. Kylo could thrive off of pain and anger, but this, this crippled him beyond measure. His mind was not strong enough to tolerate it, he knew. Hux was systematically sundering him apart.

 

“Imagine us in a warm bed, Ren, somewhere where the sun pours in and we linger, entangled in each others arms, taking our time getting up after a long night of lovemaking. Promises spilling forth from your lips to mine as I caress your inner thigh just like so,” he said, voice a calm whisper as he rubbed soothing circles around Kylo's inner thighs.

 

The ropes tied around his ankles burned as he struggled against them, heart hammering as he fought for composure, for anger, for lust of power and domination. “Stop. Stop talking,” he bit, bearing his teeth as he struggled, not caring if he toppled himself over and on to the hard, cold ground.

 

“You're oddly beautiful, you know?” Hux questioned, not looking for an answer as he titled Kylo's head this way and that, studying him. “Sharp angles and supple, freckled lips. Dark hair and even darker eyes no one can see through, mirroring back a riddle unreadable to the naked eye.”

 

Hux kissed him again, holding his chin in one hand as he undid another button on his uniform top, and then another one. The expanse of skin was unsettling, _startling_ as jagged collarbones and notched ribs unfolded before his eyes. Kylo, against himself, wanted nothing more than to touch the flesh displayed before him, a low whimper pulling through clenched teeth. A warm bed, Hux naked over top of him, or beneath him...sleeping beside him. The thoughts assaulted him from all sides, and there was nowhere for him to hide.

 

“You want to make love to me, don't you?” he asked, and this time Hux demanded an answer, finger tapping the underside of Kylo's chin.

 

When his fingers wrapped over Kylo's cock it felt better than silk, fingers smooth from the dutiful protection of his pristine leather gloves. “I want to touch you,” he admitted, knowing who held the power here, but he could use his words to still manipulate, to diminish the true power Hux wielded.

 

“You want to touch me?” Hux reiterated, a brow cocked in Kylo's wake as he straddled his lap, raking his fingers through dark, unruly hair.

 

“Yes,” Kylo said, tears welling in his eyes. This was all pure agony.

 

“You want to know what I feel like...touch me like I'm touching you,” he said, brushing a thumb over one of Kylo's nipples, his other hand still stroking him in a slow, rhythmic manner.

 

A flush spread from the bridge of Hux's nose out towards the sharp plains of his cheeks, breath a little raspy as his eyes slipped shut, drinking in Kylo's agony as he continued to jerk him off in the most tender of ways. Kylo wanted to bite him, and then plead for mercy. The flush moved further down Hux's neck, spreading from the center of his chest, and Kylo wanted to close his eyes, block out the sight, but more than that, he wanted to kiss the areas of Hux's body that were tinged red. Hux gasped, the bulge in his slacks beginning to strain against the material as he ran his fingers along Kylo's sternum, feeling each and every shuddering breath wrenched from his overstimulated body. The desire to sob welling in his chest as he struggled, knowing he couldn't use the Force even if he wanted to, mind a diluted mess incapable of even the faintest points of concentration.

 

“I want to take the rest of your clothes off,” he said, eyes focused on the tensing muscles of Hux's abdomen. “Please.”

 

“You want to make love to me, that is,” Hux said, the mossy green of his eyes getting lost in his power and his lust.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Kylo said, giving in though it pained him to do so. If loving tenderness was to be his downfall, then let it. If that was how Hux wanted to ruin him, then he already had.

 

Hux bent down, undoing the ties that secured Kylo's ankles, kissing each knee as he moved from one side to the next. Kylo writhed, his hips shifting as Hux settled in between his thighs. Hux placed his palms against Kylo's stomach, thumbs rubbing circles instead of digging in. Lips often held in a tight, dismissing line now parted open, swollen and cherry red just hovering over the head of Kylo's cock. Kylo jerked forward, trying to capture those lips for his own, but the pressure on his arms was too great, and he slumped back, panting and on the verge of having a breakdown.

 

“Don't fret, Ren,” Hux beckoned, the warmth of his breath ghosting over Kylo's sensitive skin. “This is supposed to be fun, remember?”

 

Kylo wanted to throw him through a wall, step on his long, slender neck with the heel of his boot. A soft, warm tongue pressed against the tip of his cock, obliterating all thoughts of revenge as Hux broke him down with the suction of his mouth. A flood of memories surfaced at the gentle ministrations Hux worked upon him; memories of being held by his uncle as he learned to walk and being tucked in by his mother as she told stories of her exploits and their family's origins, of laughing while being chased up a large hill full of flowers by his father who wore the largest of grins. A tear slid down his cheek, heart in his throat as he burned alive from the inside. The pain of those gentle memories were too much.

 

“Let it out,” Hux said, voice full of gravel from taking him as deep into his throat as he could. “I'm here for you.” Pure, psychological torture.

 

“Untie me. _Please_ ,” Kylo said, tears finally falling freely. “I'm _begging_ you.”

 

Hux moved to his feet, the black of his slacks highlighting the sharp curves of his pale hips. Moving behind him, he undid the ropes crisscrossed around Kylo's wrists, fingers moving leisurely to free him once and for all. Kylo's arms fell like lead by his sides, a numb tingling sensation prickled all the way from the tops of his shoulders down to his fingertips. Hux circled back around, pressing himself in between Kylo's legs as the other could do nothing but look up at him, a halo of white light crowning the red of his hair. A halo in reverse.

 

“Are you happy now that I've given you what you wanted?” Hux questioned, running his fingers through Kylo's hair as the other continued to stare up at him in near awe.

 

 _No_ , Kylo wanted to answer. Instead, he pulled Hux closer, undoing the button of his slacks as he kissed every stretch of skin his mouth could reach. Hux moaned, a sound deep, rich and vibrating as Kylo unzipped his pants. Hux massaged the feeling back into Kylo's arms, humming lowly as Kylo slid his briefs and slacks down as far as he could. Hux did the rest, picking each piece of clothing up separately, folding them and setting them on the same bin as his coat.

 

Kylo would mock him if only he could.

 

Hux's cock was a perfect fit for him; curved slightly at the end, thick with enough girth to make Kylo's mouth work hard for it, and longer than Kylo had first imagined it to be. Kylo wanted to stand, toss Hux around the room, take him hard and without mercy like usual. Kylo instead pulled the man closer, until Hux was forced to straddle his lap, their mouths moving in a languid manner as Kylo's hands explored Hux's ass with curious, eager fingers. Coated in spit, he pressed a middle finger into Hux as far is it could go, wasting no time in adding a second, scissoring them apart as Hux clutched at his shoulders.

 

Normally, he would be littered in bite marks by now, aching with the puncture wounds left behind by Hux's abnormally sharp canines. Hux refrained, grip firm but not bruising. The tip of his cock began to drip forth pre-come, prostate stimulated as he muttered words of encouragement. A famine was in Kylo's heart, a hunger he never seemed capable of fulfilling. A thirst Hux quenched with every gasp and short cry; the line between genuine and deceitful beginning to blur.

 

“Do you want to be inside me?” Hux questioned, words slurred as he kissed Kylo, their mouths moving in a sloppy, disorganized and desperate manner.

 

A fresh series of tears began to fall as Kylo cried out loud, “Yes. _Yes_.”

 

“Do you _need_ it?” he mumbled, giving a short whimper as Kylo added the index and middle digits of his left hand, hooking all four of his fingers in as he stretched and massaged Hux in a manner he had never done before.

 

Kylo wanted to bite at the junction between Hux's shoulder and neck, but placed a series of harsh kisses that drew bruising marks to the surface in lieu of ripping out his jugular. “You know I do,” he said, and though his voice carried a hint of malice, it wasn't aimed at the man seated upon his lap, but at himself for being both weak-minded and weak-willed.

 

“Good boy, Ren,” Hux said, lungs filling with air as Kylo filled him completely. “Yes, good.”

 

Kylo's hands shook as they held onto Hux's hips, the positive reinforcement of Hux's words striking him to his core. A fresh series of tears streaked his face, veering from the path they had taken before as they pooled underneath his chin, trailing down his neck. Hux still had his fingers tangled through Kylo's hair, using his hold to tilt Kylo's head back, he licked the path of salt along his throat. The hurl of insults and general disgust for Kylo's lust and skills were welcomed; this was not. Hux moaning, groaning... _whimpering_ his pleasure at what Kylo did to him tormented him, rendering him an emotionally unstable mess more than he already was.

 

“You're filling me up so wonderfully I don't even think I need your hand to come this time,” he said, arms around Kylo's shoulders as he rolled his hips, tongue snaking across his bottom lip as Kylo's thighs tensed up.

 

“Kiss me,” Kylo said, somewhere between an order and a petition. “ _Kiss_ me. Please.”

 

Hux obliged with an urgent pressing of lips, tongue meeting Kylo's as a welling feeling of pleasure flickered all throughout his insides, taking Hux in hand as he jerked him off in short tugs, meeting Hux's every thrust. Kylo's sexual exploration had involved violence in some variation at every level over the years, he had no understanding of gratification without pain, humiliation or mutilation of some kind. In his mind he figured he had no interest, but in his soul, what little he contained there, he figured he had always been afraid. Afraid to take care of someone, and entrust that that person would care for him in turn. Hux; however, had now taken the choice out of his hands.

 

Hux was ruining him, and somewhere in Kylo's mind, he knew full well that he was allowing him to do so.

 

Hux growled low in his throat, the most animalistic sound Kylo had ever heard from the other man as he threw his head back. “I love the way you feel inside me,” he said, fingers ghosting over Kylo's right nipple. A sensitive portion of Kylo's anatomy that Hux would have normally assailed with his teeth, ruthless and without compassion.

 

_I love you._

 

_I love you._

 

_I love you._

 

The thought cycled through his mind in ever increasing speed and frequency, making him disoriented and sick to his stomach. Those three words seared inside his stomach, climbing their way up the closer he grew to climaxing. The hold on Hux's hips was unforgiving as he rocked up into him, thrusts driving in sync with his vital need. A choked whimper crossed Hux's lips, seed spilling over Kylo's hand as he came from his precipice looking over him. A power trip he wouldn't soon forget, Kylo knew.

 

Their eyes met and held as Kylo came deep inside him. A fumbled, breathy, weak, “I love you,” pouring forth from his mouth as he did so.

 

The tears that spiked through him came at the thought of helpless defeat. Hux looked down his nose at him, eyes hard and coming back down. “Because you're weak,” he said, kissing Kylo as rough and deep as he could, holding his cheeks in between long, graceful fingers. “And so am I.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
